Talking to the moon!!

I gotta say this is rather stupid but I was at church with Deriss, Gen, Zi yin and Lydia but surprisingly, the highest among all was Deriss and I. We were practically crazy and noisy. Its irritating when others do that, so i'm hoping we weren't :p

How this came about??

I was telling Deriss about the show "apple of my eye", there was a part where they said something about the moon, like, even though we can't be together but we're looking at the same moon at the same time, something like that la. Haha!! 

So last year, I posted something about the moon and was asking if people could see this beautiful moon that i saw outside my window, and the person who answered was a CF friend and he stayed opposite my house, and its weird because I was talking about another thing... You know?? Hahaha!!

Yea, so we both laughed about it because, wrong person replied me. Then she decided to post on twitter as well to see if her FRIEND would reply her but IF tonight's moon was nice :) It was so stupid but yet funny, because when you're with your friend every stupid lame thing can be funny. 

And then our joke about MILO and MILK was another thing that made us laugh till her face was red and my back was painful. It was right before we wanted to go back after finishing the deco for tomorrow's event. It was so late!! 12am and I forgot that I cycled there. 

Unfortunately!!!!

Some LIFELESS CHINESE DUDES threw firecrackers at me trying to scare me, WELL, I had a heart attack because its FIRECRACKERS with SPARKS. If they had thrown 1cm nearer, my leg and hand would be gone. But i didn't know it was them, because i thought it was already there and i could only here ppl laughing, coz its normal to hear ppl laughing at this kind of situation.

Then I had a second heart attack when this BRAINLESS KIDS speed up beside me and SCREAM!! I was like, ARE YOU CRAZY???? Its late at night can you not shout?? I was already scared enough cycling back alone, then that firecracker and now these lifeless kids?? Well, is it fun to see me freak out when you shout huh?? Make me hate guys even more. But not all la :p 

I was really mad at them but then I felt pity for them because they have nothing else to do. Pity them for only wanting to have fun and disturb people. God bless them, hope that they'll have a better life. Besides, other than being in a shocking state, I still remembered about Deriss and Milo. So I decided to laugh. Some how after my bath, I realize I had a sting on my finger and realize it was from that stupid CRACKER that was near me :'(  

But who cares, I had worst:

Falling from han sin's stupid bicycle was another funny embarrassing incident. And he dare to laugh and ask me "why you on the floor? hahaha". And the CF president was there!! He couldn't even respond when he saw it. And all my friend could ever do is laugh :) It was funny :p The worst part was, I was suppose to prepare to go back to my hometown, because the scare is raw, it stings even when I move it, so I needed time to walk down this 3 storey house and then air-cond made it worst. So, while I was waiting for the train to reach kajang, my leg scratched the zipper and OUUCHHH~~ Hahaha!!  Thank God its not as bad as Mimi's :p

Time to sleep, tomorrow got class :)

(Actually, some other nights, I was really talking to someone, while the moon was outside, even until the sun wants to show its brightness ;) )

~~ God Bless ~~

~~ Loves from Me ~~

   

Theme of the year - - - -> S.E.E.K

Our hand made Logo :)  Thanks to Deriss

                           S - Salvation

                           E - Enthroned

                           E - Entrust

                           K - Keeper of God's promises

30 January 2013:

Another prayer meeting that God showed us alot. He spoke to Deriss and I. I understand how it feels when God say, "Go and tell" but you're not sure, and it keeps coming. And He even showed me how Simeon was in pain, I literally left the heart ache and tears bursting out but cannot show la, coz don't wanna scare him. And God told Deriss and I that He wants us or someone to increase their capacity, because He wants us to serve and serve even more. Taking the leadership. He also said, " tell them to seek me, seek me, because I'm a merciful God". He wants us to go to him regardless of our situation. 

Everyone's life isn't always prefect, that's the reason why we need to seek God, because we all know, that seeking Him is always the best way. You may think that what you're doing now in church is too much to handle, God is telling you NO. Because You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. Its only when you do it with your strength, you go weary and frustrated. 

God has His reasons to why, He's asking you to do more than you think you can, because He knows your limits, which means you CAN. You can manage it :) 

Even if right now, you're in the middle of trying to make things right and hoping there will be a change, start by seeking the Lord, He has His ways different things. If it means to submit, then submit, because He has others plans for you. Don't be discourage but be happy because He has greater plans for you in the place where you are now ;) 

Don't give up on anything God has entrusted you to serve at, continue to serve obediently and submitting, You'll see how God increase your capacity in serving Him. Hope you get what I meant :p Have a great day!

~~ God Bless ~~

~~ Loves from Me ~~ 

SEEK AND YOU WILL FIND

This actually reminds me of an email that I read. When this group of people was about to go out for a prayer walk or drive i think, i'm not sure, God told them to stay in the church to set their hearts right before Him. Because if their hearts are not right, how can they bring people in. 

Same happened to our church but different scenario. We were about to have our "Welcoming Night" for those who are new in kampar, which means we are to go out and meet new people and bring them. A week ago, we had prayer meeting, it was lead by Deriss and we only had about 3 people, Deriss, Lydia and myself. We had something I call, worship prayer, where we play worship songs as we pray our own. 

The reason I did it this way was because:

Last year, during prayer meeting, I realize people do want to worship God but sometimes, they tend to compare themselves with others. "They sing so well", "I can't sing as passionate as them" or " They can pray so loud" " I have no confidence at all".

So one day when Victor, Lydia and I were having dinner before prayer meeting, we met a guy who was spiritually lost. Speaking to him was really a challenge for us, whether it was language, thinking, believes or even level of understanding. This guy was rather unfortunate in his life as he stopped studying after form 3 or 5. And he could only speak Cantonese or Manderine. It came to a point where Victor and Lydia, had no way to convince him and he turned to me. 

Being an english speaking person, it was REALLY hard, i tried my best speaking in manderine with him, some how he understand me. Then I found out that he could speak cantonese, which I THINK I'm better at :p It was still hard, since i don't know what Holy Spirit, Faith, guidance and more biblical words was called in chinese. Some how I manage to convinced him. And he quietly told me he had a bag full of all different religion's talisman. And he told us he would like to join our prayer meeting, but it was already 9pm. 

Then ask we were walking, I was asking God to protect us as were trying to do our best to turn away from those talisman. Then he walk towards me and continued our conversation. Lydia and Victor went to open the church lights and doors, right when I was one step away from the entrance, the minute I said " You enter first, kai ming" I felt a hard push from in front of my head, my back was facing the staircase, Thank God I didn't fall back wards. 

After awhile, I felt something was not right because I felt very uncomfortable, so I prayed and it struck me about the talisman he showed me before. Just when he was at the back by his own, I told Victor and Lydia that we had to pray. After praying, Kai ming came out and he had to go back, so we prayed for him and he left. 

Something was still not right, but Three of us carried on our weekly routine after prayer, JAMMING XD But this time Victor showed another side of him, who we never saw before. Singing from his heart, so as both of them were singing using the mics, I quietly plugged in my phone and played worship songs. Then I was hoping they could have a time of their own with God. And they did, they lied down and sang and even cried. And when we sang, the church was like totally cleansed, I felt the opposite of before. We did that until 1am. 

I rather waste my time, for my members to grow closer to God rather than doing other things which doesn't bare fruits at all. Then I realize, prayer could be another way, as in conducting it. And maybe because its all UNI peeps praying and their not regular prayer. So... hehe..

They needed to get reconnected to God which is back to basics. Prayer, Its all between them and God. They have to start initiating TAWG. Coz If there's no connecting with God, its like there's not line in life. Get what I mean?? haha!!

As I was saying, So this year, Deriss handled our first prayer meeting and I told her about what I thought, So we went with the idea. But we called it seeking Him on our own, COP theme of the year.

True enough during prayer, the word SEEK kept appearing to Deriss and I. And it was telling our church to seek Him more and don't worry about the number of people coming. Because when we seek Him with a right heart, He will bring people, they will come automatically. 

Guess what?? We had people, coming to us asking about AOG church, and HERE WE ARE!! And some we meet at CF welcoming night, even if its one guy, but he found us first, he came to us. And that AOG guy is bringing 3 more friends. Even though, we tried very hard to find people around us, but God keeps bringing people who we DON'T KNOW, as in NEW people. 

I'm happy and glad, not because of the numbers but how God make things happen, I can just see it and its a wonder how they came to us. Deriss and I fasted and prayed and We're very Thankful for what God had brought to us. Even if at the end of the day, they're not joining our church, its okay, it the following up and fellowshiping that matters. As long as they attend other church, we are happy. Its like building a bridge for them to cross?? Is that what they call?? Haha!!  

Well, go back to basic in knowing God. Through prayer and TAWG. So What are you waiting for?? Wanna see great things happen, you gotta seek God more :) 

~~ God Bless ~~

~~ Loves from Me ~~

29th January

Yesterday was SOMEONE'S birthday!! It was a sad thing that I wont or can't be there to celebrate it but then ONE day surely can wan ;) When that day comes, I'll buy you a meal that I owe you :) 

Actually, I was back for the holidays, so I tot there was something on for this, but because of some communication problem, it didn't happen. And i even told my mom "See, I'm meant to go back on the 29th". Haiz, I feel so stupid saying that at the railway station XD Thank God NO TICKET to go back. But then, its still like that la. 

Was suppose to make a call but.... I chicken out :p One day ah, one day ;) And right, I saw this thing from yit ping's fb and i straight away thought of my long lost friend :)

Happy Birthday ah, my long lost friend :) Let me be the last to wish you, though, I've already did :p  May the Lord continue to guide you in His ways as He use you to move the hearts of the youths in church and continue to have the heart to see them change, don't give up :) God will slowly work in their hearts. And continue to pray :) God Bless. 

~~ God Bless ~~

~~ Loves from Me ~~

Still Haunts

Something from the Past

Isn't it hard to keep things in your heart? Let me tell you, its hard. In fact, its very hard because you just don't know how to tell or maybe even describing it.

To me, Its worthless even if i say something, It seems like nothing is going to change, So, why do I still ponder and still think of it?

Don't know why this sudden emotion came today, Can I say that, it was the perfect timing for those songs to play along? haha!! Nonsense much?? That's how mixed up my brain is, LOST!!

Most of the time I would just back off, Nothing much i can do, Maybe I'm not THAT christian, I don't know.

Looking at the person who actually talked behind you, When they don't know the real story. Really hurts, you just have to fake a smile. That night, I've tried my very best to smile BUT you just caused it to be a sour smile. 

You write me a letter, Thank you. BUT I really think You NEVER meant everything on that card. Maybe only when you write it. That shows how much you've crushed my heart. 

You always expect me to be a christian friend to you, Let me tell you, Christian also has their limits, when it comes to "PATIENCE". Recently, because of you, its no longer in me. 

I start to tell the truth straight just like you want me to be. Even I'm questioning myself about me being a christian. Since you're so good why don't you teach me??

Thank God for forgiveness, without it, I would be a person who is like "frenemy". I wouldn't mind they talking about me, BUT what I mind is why "christian" is always the reason? Pls dont be so stereotype, If i can be bad just because I'm a christian, then does it make you great? Well, if it does, you can continue, coz I DONT CARE :p Use frenemy to make me angry la, It never effects me coz i know her pattern. Its you that has a problem. 

If anyone of you ever had a friend like that, let him or her be, coz they just wanna see you cry and be emotional. Show them that you're stronger than what they think. Always remember, there's always a merciful God who's more than willing to listen to you and He doesn't mind if you cry, cause crying out to Him means, you want Him to be in control of the situation and you really want Him involve in it with you to make things right.

~~ God Bless ~~

~~ Loves from Me ~~

Reality

Back to reality

I’m finally going back to Kampar, a day which I hope will never come. It’s like going back to a place where you had hurts and disappointments, even bad memories. Unlike back at my hometown, there’s also all the sadness but somehow, I don’t feel that far from people I know. I think it’s because this trip has brought me good memories which I really treasure. The door of the train closed as I slowly leave the city of KL, Leaving with a heavy heart.

1.    Rachel’s (my youngest cousin sister) trip back

Usually, when Dan, Liz and Rach is back, I won’t be able to spend time and really bond with them compared with my brothers. Thank God this time, though Dan’s trip back, I wasn’t there, at least when Rach came I was THERE J When she was here, we talked about lots of stuffs and certain things that she tells me, really saddens me. I wasn’t there as a cousin sister to listen and share her thoughts because her parents got divorced when she was very young and leaving in Australia, she had different values and thinking that caused her to find that there’s no one at home who would listens or talk other than her brothers and sister, but they have their own lives and friends. At least they are near God, Rach i really far, partly was because she’s a science student, everything has to be proven and being seen or experienced it by herself.  Her mom worries for her as she goes and drink with her friends. Thank God her friend got punished for being caught with her bf at home, because Rach didn’t want to go back and celebrate new year alone. Besides, the biggest reason why she stayed back was because of the church friends she met, was really happy that they got along well. Seeing your close friends talking and laughing with your cousin, really put a smile on my face. Really hope and pray that God will touch her.

2.   Mikha’s birthday & Gloria’s Birthday

Mikha is a guy who’s of my age, he loves reading like Rach :p Hahaha!! Anyways, I was shocked when I was told about the person who’s going to fetch me. Its him!! I’m crazy, but you sort of simply get nervous and happy in a way ( I don’t know, just something I felt). I was in the car with him, Miah and Rach. It was very awkward but then after a while it was okay. It was very funny when we started talking, Rach and Miah would just stop and listen, creating a really awkward situation. They don’t have to stop when we talk.

Then during Glory’s birthday surprise, we were in the same car again!! Hahaha!! I’m not exaggerating but I want to say “ AHHHHHH!!! I can’t believe it”. Right after our lunch we headed back to church and I sat in his car again, and smart Glory left us alone in the car. Erm, It wasn’t awkward also just kind of shy I guess.

I actually gain LOTS of weight. This holiday has been a really sinful trip, all the food and more food. Imagine eating every time you come down from the car. And after this, CHINESE NEW YEAR is here, also another season of good food. Actually, i don’t think during CNY I’ll be eating a lot, I won’t be going back to any of my parents hometown but just staying at home and maybe eating mamak as all the Chinese shops close. Gonna have to lose weight seriously. I plan to cycle to class every morning because I have time to look at God’s creation as I cycle, and also thank God with prayer. I use to go an hour early to Uni, to read the bible and also pray outside of the lecture hall. But since i have 8am classes, I have to change my sleeping habits.

5.30 wake up and wash up

6.00 breakfast and TAWG

7.00 Cycle to Uni

8-6 Classes

( after this i would be studying and then sleep by 11pm max. If got church max 12). Most importantly is HOPE I CAN DO IT LA.... Its easy to say but to practice a discipline life is hard. Nothing is impossible to God tho ;) I kinda miss the clouds, no clouds is like no Jesus, that how I feel.

Well, that’s partly my holiday J I had lots of fun. I believe God has another challenge for me in Kampar that’s waiting for me. Working in partnership with God would be the best way. Sigh~~ How can I say no to what God has given to me, I can only pray that he’ll open hearts and open door to redeem back what was lost.

~~ God Bless ~~

~~ Loves from Me ~~