3rd November 2012

That significant time

For this past few days, I think I laughed and smiled TOO much, Its always before I sleep. Even when Deriss was here, she was supposed to be drunk and sleeping, instead, she woke up and ask "why are you still awake at this time". Well, HeHe, I've been talking to my long lost friend :) This blog has a new reader!! When I knew about it, I wasn't angry or what but the fact that the person that I've writing about IS READING!! I don't know what others might think, because some people wished that "he/she" would read it. I never thought that my friend could see it, because I actually wanted to tell Gloria about it, but I think I should have kept it to myself. The things I wrote was SUPER EMBARRASSING, because I knew no one would read, so I left it that way :p Well my friend, i think it was meant to be spoil :) 

Actually, when my friend told me, my heart stopped (as if I've committed a crime :p) because I have forgotten what I wrote. That time was thinking, "oh no, my friend read. what would happen". But since my friend said that it was a good thing, so I think its good la. I had certain questions written in one of the things I wrote and I was told that I could have the answers to it and gave me time to read back what I've wrote :p For my friend to see those two particular writings was certainly good, but its embarrassing for me. Imagine you writing one for me, secretly and suddenly I found out. Every word from your heart was known.

Last night, the stars looks like this.
 But not as much la. This is the milky way :)

I'm gonna write informally now :) 

I'm never good at expressing anything but I think I was happy that this blog was “spoiled”. How do I put this? Maybe It’s meant to be known? I’m really thankful that the person who I’m going through 3rd November was with you. I wouldn't dare to really say certain things but as time pass, I think it would be known :p Haha!! I don’t know what I’m saying now, coz all I could do is smile at what actually happened. It’s already, 2 years, plus, I guess?? Time really flies. I really enjoy what we’re doing now. And To me that prayer really meant a lot because it showed that you really want God to show us according to His time and you didn’t want to rush things. If things would be like what others expect, like make decision as if, it doesn't mind, I really don’t think I can be ready for anything. Yea, don't let things happen too fast. So that’s one thing. 

That prayer was sort of a new commitment to God. Leaving everything to him, allowing Him to be the core of everything, allowing Him to be in charge of the timing and Be our guide. Like for the FIRST time, we actually prayed together?? It sounds weird but its..... NICE J I get to do it with someone who cares about what is there. It’s a new date, with a new prayer and commitment?? I don’t know how we can end up talking about this but I’m glad we did, since its the world’s hardest topic, agree? I teared up because I was very thankful to God that you did not push things but taking it slow, I don't know I'm just shock and happy at the same time. Erm, having someone to do this thing is not easy, most of them would skip this part, and this part is actually the most important part, to me la, hehe. 

You answered that funny question last time and now for you to answer my stupid questions was really nice. Well, it’s very nice of you and I never thought you would because it’s so hard for even me to say it. I think it would have taken me a long time (days) to say something like that. The first question, when there was a "NO", I was actually like, "okay" because I expected it to be that way. Hehe. Who knows, Its the opposite!! Hahaha!! And the 2nd question, I like your answer. That's actually what I prayed for also and I believe in it.

Let's just continue what God had done so far, so that It would be like a testimony for the future youths?? Something that they would look up too and not follow the worldly ways. Especially people like Sam, Abi, Chris and more.



I actually wrote this very long ago, its just that, I don't know if its what I wanted to say or write. Even until today, i keep editting it :p Anticipating huh?? hehe

____________________________________________________________________________


I truly believe when you allow God to be in charge of everything things would turn out good even if you think its bad. Why not pray and wait?? This way has always been the safest way but people tend to follow their heart, which always bring disappointment. Just wait and you'll see. The special time for you will come ;) Not kidding. Start praying and be patient.

God's promise has always been the best

~~ God Bless ~~

~~Loves From Me~~

Bad news

Stealing . Burden . Hurts . 

This week was a rather bad week. In conjunction to the previous post about "Why Does God Let Your Enemies Survive", I could slowly see, how God interfere in problem which we humans can't even solve. My friend who I'm always with, came back from the holidays with quite a good mood, despite her result and all the past, she was able to come back to Uni with a positive view. Just when I step on the land of Kampar, she messaged me and ask if we could have a time of "chats". We went out and guess who we saw?? Her frenemy!! (something which I hope not to happen) Well it did, I can't deny that the way that girl acted that day was very hurtful, and in chinese people call it "Hen Qian Da" (I think that's what they call it) This was because dear frenemy had a very nice chat with my friend's BF, Yes Frenemy likes him too. 

From that day (2nd week of Uni), my friend obviously didn't like it and took it to heart and problems like, jealously, insecurity and also unable to BELIEVE each other. Honestly, I can't blame her BF because he really showed her that no matter what happens, she can believe him. Even he said, "Its Impossible that I would like her even if we break. And I won't allow us to break so easily". THERE, he said it already. Girls are just doing what they do best, THINK TOO MUCH :) The following week (week 3 Monday), Its time to know her results for appealing. Honestly speaking, I knew what was the outcome before she unseal the letter but its not nice to spoil a friend's hope. Well, she opened it and I was like "OH MAN!!! NOT ANOTHER REJECTION" At that moment I don't think she could take another bad news. If my heart dropped when i read the first line, I think hers was crushed. Her hope to be able to continue to stud ended with that letter. For the first time, being a noisy person, I don't know what to say. And I'm not sure if i should say anything.

As a Christian, I asked God in my heart "Isn't it suppose to be okay? Out of everything, why at this time? What am I suppose to say? Should I say something or just stay quiet?" We sat in front of FGO quietly for quite some time. And at the same time I was suppose to help Damon and Hansin with their recording. I really don't know which to choose. One side is my friend, another also, But if I help Damon, which her frenemy is also there, it just doesn't feel right. In the 10 minutes, I had to make decision in my heart and pray at the same time. When she started talking, I found myself saying "You know what? I'm going to help you find a way out. Don't worry. I'll help you. ". Hmmm, did i just get myself into another mess? When she look at me i knew she wanted to cry, so i took her to a place no one could see us, but I was still wondering if what I did was right. As I was walking, I heard God saying "Stay with her. I need you to stay with her". You can never say no to what God want you to do, but obey. 

That day, we went home at 9pm and all we could do is sleep. The next day, I was suppose to go and meet her in Uni but some how, I felt like I had to stay back and do something. I missed 3 buses and was talking to my hometown friend. True enough, I wasn't suppose to go. I was suppose to pray for her. Wendy went for class, so its the best time for me to pray. When i pray, I realize I didn't know what to pray because I dont know what's going on and how to describe this situation. I did a short prayer and I waited for God to say something. God showed me that my friend was in a position where, her hurts from the past was being kept and brought till now and she was all tied up with problems she couldn't let go. I continued praying for forgiveness, peace and being free from all those bondage. After that, i walk to my table and asked again what He wanted me to show her, God wants her to know that He died for her. As I close my eyes and continue seeking Him, I heard the word "enemy". Instantly I saw, the enemy stealing her love ones, finance, friends and even education. Then again I heard the word enemy. God said, the enemy is trying to stop you from talking to her. Well, stupid feller knows that he's in danger :p Good for you :) 

That night, Deriss and my dad kept asking me to share with her, because she wanted to see me but some how I felt like its not the time. Surprisingly the word "ENEMY" was referring to the same day (night). I tired to follow the flow like Deriss said, but she wasn't anywhere near my topic. Suddenly, she started shooting me back about the past, something about her bf,  how i dumped her and how sad she felt and everything. I really wanted to burst out in anger but I asked her 1 question "Do you think I knew you for a reason? You found me, not I find you." She was shock when i ask her that. She tried to avoid that question, I continued saying " Have you ever wondered why most of our situation are similar? ". Some how we got to a part where she ask me, " Is it you know something? Because you prayed for me?". She told me that she felt like i knew many things from the start just that I didn't want to say anything, she also mentioned about the enemy. Hehe!! Scary~~~ 

Some how we didn't touch that topic but I told her what i saw and heard. She told me that her sister once told her about this enemy and now he's really playing with her mind. She even say sometimes, she felt like " something" was telling her to be negative and all. Suddenly my mom called and she wanted to go back, but our convo did not end there, we went out for late dinner. After walking out she started about when she went home, she felt like something did not allow her to come out, ME TOO!!! But it was another time for bonding, we found out some stuffs and talk about it. And when we went home, we sat outside her house and look at the moon as she messaged her BF. (THEY ARE OKAY!! AS LOVING AS BEFORE). She sent me a short messaseg and i felt happy. It was just "Thank you". I feel what ever I've been doing, even sacrificing for her, was worth it. She doesn't express, but thank you is enough :) In fact, I also have to thank her, because i learnt a lot from her in return. 

Until today, bit by bit, good things are happening to her. 

   1. The rejection letter became, accepted

   2. Her relationship with her bf became better than before

   3. She doesn't really care about her frenemy who tries to annoy her

   4. Her assignment date was postponed because of her matter 

   5. She realize that she has more friends than she thought

And etc :)    

Even character wise, she was better, so that one of the reason why I could bare with her. Its not about the hard journey but its about the change you saw in a person, it means much more. Small changes, I should be happy or else how can big changes happen? 

I still have another 1 year plus with her, I really hope, that when we depart, she'll use what she has learnt to help others or be a better person :) 

Every Bad things that happen, doesn't mean its always bad till the end. The outcome is always shocking and unexpected :)

Hopefully, what I wrote here, can encourage anyone who ends up here, to continue to face the problems with a positive attitude. Look forward towards God's intervention in your problems.

~~ God Bless ~~

~~ Loves from me ~~  

Why Does God Let Your Enemies Survive

I would love to share this short message by Shyju Mathew. I really love his writing because it speaks to be every single time. And it tells us how are we to face it with God. Here's the link: http://shyjumathew.com/blog/2012/10/22/god-enemies-survive/

Have you ever (secretly) wished that fire would engulf and devour your enemies? Or are you like Job, Jeremiah or David, who asked God, “Why do the wicked prosper?” Have you ever felt that God is silent over your enemy? Why does God let your enemy even live when He has the power to wipe them all off the face of the earth?

Dear friend, the truth is that it usually takes opposition to really know what you are made of. God usually uses a Goliath to introduce a valiant David. Your enemy is not your coffin but your platform to where God wants you to be.

But the problem is that not at all the times do we see Goliath falling. We are most frustrated when we find ourselves running instead. It seemed like all was ok, till you found out that your enemy just stole your promotion. And that grin on your enemy’s face makes it even worse.

Result

Is it not interesting that after 430 years of slavery out came Israel’s glorious exodus? They would have otherwise never seen a man so close to God like Moses. They would have never seen the Red Sea part. They would have never experienced godly providence in the desert just as a father provides for a child, in the place of their most need.

Here is one of my favorites verses, “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward Him” 2 Chronicles 16:9 (ESV)

Your problems and issues that you face today are an opportunity to see the powerful hand of God manifest in your life. [Click To Tweet] God is waiting to give you strong support!

A Caution

While continuing to hope for God’s intervention, don’t become like your enemy. If the enemy slanders, you don’t go slandering back. Don’t act like how the enemy does.Soar above your situation. Don’t hurl back at the enemy what the enemy has thrown at you. You are more honorable than that. Expect God to fight your war. Guard your heart with love and humility and move on.

What opposition does to a child of God is beautiful. It keep us humble, grounded,focused and super-focused. It’s an opportunity to check and double-check, to be awake and not lethargic. God uses the enemy to cause us to become a better leader to create a greater impact for the Kingdom of God.

So then com’on let’s stop cribbing, let’s love some enemies and get some real work done.

What say?

~~ God Bless ~~

~~ Loves from Me ~~

Clouds!!!

Sign . Wonder . Answer . Faith .

We all know how clouds will make shapes, but really shapes that speak to you?? Have you?? Well, i'm not crazy but its what I've been seeing and it speaks to me. When I ask and He really shows it to me. You'll be shock, if you are me.

Previously I was really puzzled with how angels really look like because some say they're really beautiful. So I asked God to show me how it really look like and this time i added "I'll wait because it takes time to draw them out" As the wind blew, i saw something, and at first i saw an angel's fingers, very strong ones, then slowly its height. Trust me they are HUMONGOUS!! And the clouds slowly drew, i saw how beautiful An angel really is, and it was as If he was standing behind the clouds. The drawing was to detailed and real that i could see his skin and he was really muscular, Is the the Angel of War? It was so specific, I saw the 45 degrees part of him, then from the bottom, and his was holding something but i couldn't really figure that one out. When i saw it i was overwhelmed that no words could describe, i just look as it faded.   

The next one was I told Jesus since I can see that, can He show me Himself. That time the clouds was all blown away, as soon as i ended my sentence, the clouds gathered again. I could see the clouds giving way as Jesus shows Himself. Looked at me with open arms, really felt that He's calling me back. I cried straight away because i felt unworthy. I was never a faithful Christian but yet, when i ask He showed me. Jesus, you're really something, AMAZING!! I was shocked and laughed. 

The last one was rather scary, i asked God since He showed me Himself, can he show me that school that I was dreaming of opening. I wonder how he will show me but out of everything about the school, He used dancing, because it was my core to the school, and He knew it. Well, the dark clouds wasn't showing anything at first, but then as the wind blows, images of people dancing was formed, hip pop, break dancers, ballet, contemporary, ALL!!! And some were literally dancing, call me crazy but it happened. WHAT A JOY~~ But then all of a sudden, a big black clouds came and took everything away, and it was with two horns, SATAN. My enemy. I saw a hand with sharp claws took one of the dancers away. I don't know what meant but I'm sure, God will not let it happen. 

My future is always in His hands, even if satan would steal and kill, I will still remain faithful like JOB in the Bible. FYI, Satan took his family and possessions, as in killed them and left him nothing, he didn't blame God but instead He remembers God and kept being faithful till the end. Sometimes God allow temptations to happen to us, not to harm us but to mold us and shape us. We wont learn unless we fall, we all know that. Years ago, I lost my grandma, but gain a good relationship with my relatives but my dad lost his company, found a job but didn't turn out well until to a point where my mom has to work and my dad has to travel out station to bring us money. I never saw money as a must because i know and still know, money cant bring love, joy, peace and togetherness. To cut it short, we still laugh and smile even though our financial situation was bad, my parents still paid tithes faithfully even though it wont be enough to last for the month, MIRACULOUSLY it did last, with extra. See how God provides when we are faithful? That's why even if my friend ask me to lend them money, i might be disturbed because it wont be the last time, and i'm not that well off as well, but then I'll try my best to put them first and bless them. 

Its not a habit but its in me to put others first. Many people say i'm stupid but sometimes its not wrong to please others. I've been mold to be like this since young, people take advantage of me, but the good thing is i get to learn from them. I do cry because some friends are just hypocrites, but i realize its no use if you wanna put anger in to solve the problem. GIVE AND TAKE. There are certain times where i have to tell them off, its not an easy thing because I have never said "NO" to them, and they can't take it and gets mad. I have to apologies but its not because I'm wrong, its because I know its the right thing to do. Turning in first doesn't mean you're chicken but it makes you a bigger person, who's able to let things go and forgive. Well, obviously some friends don't see it that way and thinks that you're REALLY wrong to tell her off. And she keeps in mind of that situation and always reminds me of how i hurt her, never have she think about how she hurt me, its more that you could imagine. Sometimes i feel its her way of getting back to me, she would say "i thought Christians aren't suppose to be like that, that's why you said sorry rite? and I'm afraid there will be a second time" Well, God did say, correct your friend If you know they're wrong, He didn't say love them even more if they're wrong *i'll puke and its super impossible, common sense* 

But I'll just give in because I know she'll understand one day. I can't always correct her since she's in her own way and blinded by LOVE. As a friend I'm happy for her, really, But BOASTING?? That I can't tolerate, so in order not to hate her, I stay away from her, I don't see her that much anymore, cause i don't wanna be influenced by her, which is very possible. When you know there's danger, be sure to stay out before you're involved. You know what i mean. So yea, patience, is always the key, love your friend as much as yourself, you'll learn how, don't worry. I had my days with it. Again, i'm not a goody goody girl or the most faithful Christian, I was just able to do it because God gave me the opportunity to and I want to be good at it. That might be my gift, hahaha!! Honestly, i would love to have the gift for vision and dreams (which i already had) and the heart of torn people as in being able to relate to them and they'll some how find me or i'll find them. Because i really enjoy listening to their life story and it challenges me also, and I really want to help them unlock the brokenness in them. GOD!! PLEASE!!  I'm so excited when i talk about it :p childlike faith?

P/S: I dont know if people will read this, but I hope that you're blessed by it :) No offence because i'm a christian. Sorry :)

~God Bless~

~~Loves from Me~~

Another early morning Good nights

Long lost friend

It feels so nice to be able to talk and spend time and catch up with what we've missed. I always wonder how it would end up so well. This time i really enjoyed. I literally laugh the whole night!! We were talking about randoms stuffs and then ANGELS. *we had the same respond to why we are scared!!* Well, thanks to my roommate, this was on our conversation. 

We then continued about our little ABIGAIL :) I like her, she's just so, hmmm, should i say, a small girl with dreams of her own. Its some how funny, because i wonder if all the little girls like that as well. * Curiosity* Well, we talked as if we were trying match make ABIGAIL and BEN, but ended up like selling her. What friends are we, we're just having fun :p Sorry ABI~ 

Always at the right timing and reason. Never had it turn out bad or anything. I would say, "I"M EXPERIENCING IT??" hahaha! I'm just filled with JOY. On and off, my "long lost friend" is the one who encourages me, always trying to make me laugh, which is very nice of my "long lost friend". It good to know that you have a friend who is always there waiting for a chance to talk to you and wants the best for you. 

I gotta say never has my friend fail to make me laugh, maybe the plan to go over to UK might not be God's plan, i'm sure He has his reasons. Maybe he's already shaped and ready. Sometimes when you want God to do things like this, He does the opposite, but never was I angry or disappointed because His ways are always the best and everything turn out well. So far, everything went well, and I really THANK GOD for that :) 

Like normal friends we tease and create our own "plan", which was fun. I didn't know i could be that fun myself, very good Sara ;) You know they say in any relationship, there must always be fellowship, doesn't have to be eating or drinking. But even small talks like these get every kind of relationship closer. 

I gotta say this each time, this friend of mine never fails to impress me. OH!!! I gotta say this, at one moment when everything was going to end, my heart stopped for a while, I don't know, but it did. But it was rather a shocking thing to hear, since my friend is a shy person *in front of me la :p* then i smiled  and i guess its different when you're communicating through phone, we become braver and its really who we are. I guessed my prayer is being answered, to know each other more. 

You know one thing good is that, we're all old enough to know what we should and should not do. We were able to know our boundaries and its something I wished my friends say, and true enough!! hahaha!! Matured people are truly different. another point to you. You might think i'm crazy or a small girl who fantasize, i don't mind. I think When God really does something you can only be happy at the outcome. :) 

In all things, give and take, understanding, willing to listen and ask, sharing the same love God has given to us, know our priorities are the main things that had kept this relationship strong. There might be storms and heavy waves in future, Nothing can stop us when we're committed and being mold in His ways. We're a child of God. Who can ever dare to stand against us? 

P/S: my roommate having finals the next day :p But yet we still talked. God bless Wendy

    

~God Bless~

~~Loves from Me~~

Life . Lesson . Parents . Stress .

LIFE

Many say career is important, study is as important so does good grades and being rich. But if we have everything and yet we have a bad attitude, isn't it worst? NOTE: When ever you show a bad attitude on a first meeting or date, it TURNS them OFF. SERIOUSLY! Well, 1st impression always helps when you're trying to fix some problem but, even the 1st is the worst, who can save you then, rite? Back to being fampus or rich. People hate you, you're being "love" because of your status. Have you ever wonder, are they even your friends? Or Do you even know those who sticks to you all the time. They come and go.  Hmm, think about it. Real friends are those who will tell you the truth when you're wrong because they care. They'll still be there even if you have nothing. They don't care even if you call at 3 o'clock to talk about how you feel.

Who you are is just as important. Some times we even ask God "Why me?"  or "does it has to always be me?" Be a grown up or a parent and think nicely. Why would a mom take her son's/ daughter's toy or get them grounded when they are wrong? BINGO!! Because we couldn't handle what was given to them. Same as all of us. We have all the freedom to do what we want, but if we didn't use it wisely, don't blame God for taking it back. Besides, the road downhill, is always the best. It might be hard to walk and perhaps involves tears, LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE FRIENDS, we get to learn and shape who we are, to be a better person stronger ones. Sometimes people think that "Oh man, its such a shameful thing to be in that situation". NO its not. Its a story that made you stronger and the story that you have might be able to help a friends go through theirs. They don't have to be a close friend. People who is in need. Trust me, one you've help them and see them smile, you be thinking "WHAT A JOY!!".

Another thing I've learned this week, GRADES. They are important but if grades have made you cranky, bossy, big headed, competitive, show off, wanna be famous and etc (what ever people call). I dare tel you its of no use. Yes indeed!! Parents wants us to get good grades and its good for future but then again, who we are is just important. I don't want my parents seeing me being a BIG HEADED kid laughing at other people's grades. If you wanna be proud of it, Teach them then. YOU HEARD ME, teach people without looking forward for return because a wise man once said, "But when you give to the needy, do not let left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving maybe in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret will reward you." 

We can't change our habits instantly, its all about the will power and determination. It might feel geeky to teach people, or might not be "cool", when they succeed, you'll be happy, even if they don't remember you, just say "God bless you" and hope that they'll make good use of it as well. They'll learn from it. Everyone has their ups and downs. So do I. Mine is more of a, erm... I should say down. I may say its a road for me to deal with my emotions and character, its not easy but i do believe in prayer to keep me strong.

Why do i write these?? Because I experienced it myself and i see them happen around me. I just turn 21 but I'm not a kid, neither am I a grown up. I learn from them and I'm not free of problems, I've been in teens but I try my best to stay out of trouble because I feel my parents needed less trouble at home. So why not, give in and try to solve things positively? For me, I'll cry out to God and ask Him to help me. Even though there seems to be no answer but i believe its not time yet. AND when he does answer :) You'll be shock. Amazing things had happened to me over night. From who I was to who I am now. I'm not perfect and I still need to grow. 

P/S: A word of blessing or compliment would start your day well :)

Words for my dear friends out there :)

~ God Bless~

~~ Loves from Me ~~

Brothers and Sisters in Christ

Time . Chat . Life . GOD

I always believe in quality time spent with dearest friends. 

I really thank God that even when I couldn't have one with my dearest,

 CHANGES, Daphne, Yee Mun, Quincy, Ann, or Some other hometown besties, 

I still can have one here. 

Just like today I was able to hang out with Deriss, Genesis and Lydia. 

One of my closest friends in COP other than 

Twinkle(Caroline) and Zi yin :)

 *cannot for get them, funny people* 

I like the time spent where we could talk about our past, experience, our spiritual life, 

You know, to some how catch up with one another. 

We should do it more often :)

 FUN!! Its very encouraging to share with them your encounters with God

Makes you wanna share and listen attentively :)    

In few hours time, I'll be going to Old town to catch up with Yu han.

Bank, clothes, food, and some stuffs

I realize, too close isn't the solution,

But giving space to one another and allowing both sides to breath

Is sort of the best way to get our mind

off our current problem

It some how became something that has just passed or VANISHED!!

In an blink of an eye :)

Allowing God to speak to you and also work in you is another story

Only when you allow, He can work in you.

I really want God to slap me on the face as a wake up call,

REALLY NEED THAT!! *red alert*

Sometimes I even pray that God will not stop showing more of Himself to me

In the end, i found myself closing up to such things:

1. If i want God to work in my life, I should allow and anticipate change and transformation

2. Willing to change because He is the best way.

3. Seek ye first the kingdom of God

4. Be obedient 

5. Be still and know that He is God

6. Never Doubt

7. Never failing Faithfulness in Him

8. Pray and accept

9. Dream BIG even during prayer

10. Ask for visions when we pray and never be afraid because He is Almighty  

[saying that we are all humans, is not an excuse, in fact when Jesus came down in flesh He was human as well, if He can why not us? Truly we can do the same because he says

John 5: 19 "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself;, he can do only what he sees

 his Father doing, because 

what ever the Father does the son also does"]  

P/S: trying to pull myself together and be ready to seek God and face my final exam.

I have to settle the spiritual part of me 1st, call me superstitious

but, Its important to me.

It's part of me, my life and everything that's in it. 

Gotta find back the passion and hunger for His word and the purpose.
Its has to be clear and not blur.

Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all you 

heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all of your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight."

~~ God Bless~~

~~Loves from me~~